Uncomfortable is the new comfortable! *hair flick*

Emily Dowman-Latham
7 min readNov 25, 2020

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Are you ready for a rant? Well you’ve came to the right place because I’ve got plenty more where that came from because honestly, my pockets are bursting at the seams to tell you some bits I have been focusing on!
Firstly, and to cut the crap and throw a lil disclaimer out there - these articles are part of my own self-development journey. I’m no expert but I’m putting my love for writing teamed with love for self-discovery together and then I suppose with that I’m tying them up with a little red ribbon as a little gift to even one person in this insane asylum!

So let’s get back in to it..
I’ve got just one line I want you to aim for going forward, a lil bit of homework shall we say. Something that is strongly working for me.
Just one little line to think about on the daily.

Make it your goal to feel uncomfortable.

Hey wait.. stick with me..

You know that gut feeling you literally run from — literally aim for this.
Why? Well.. Let me start with the bare minimal as a starter.. like whether it’s me on a run, pushing myself to go a little faster or harder to me making decisions I’ve never made before like trying a new dish and discovering I don’t like it, even getting a sodding upset stomach from it! Because as a result? I’ve learnt and I’ve stepped outside of my usual norm — again, Wala! But wait, still stick with me..

Now I’m not just saying for example, a friend wants to go out and for drinks and you’d much rather cosy up and stay in evenings like they are great too, it’s good to rest now and again blah blah blah but in terms of your self-development? You won’t grow or move in your comfort zone.
It’s a fact. We learn from being broken hearted I’m afraid.

If you’re faced with a decision to experience something you haven’t experienced before, be aware of your reaction and your control in this situation, turn it on it’s head and say yes.
As humans we want an easy time. FACT. But we are also complex and extremely unique creatures on a ball of rock that’s racing around space!
We have so much to do and see! Humanity to get here to this point wasn’t easy, and nothing in life that is worth having is easy but it got there in the end didn’t it.
I mean, if you’re after a quiet life, great, don’t complain and get on with it. That’s cute and all but It’s short and sweet but hey it’s yours, who am I to judge?
But if you live by the belief that this is your life even though you dream and dream for so much more than this than you need to get the hell over settling and moving past the fear of the unknown and feel uncomfortable.

Just like the unknown food-dish you might have tried, it may just be your new favourite! You may have worked out you hated it and will never try it again or worse didn’t try it at all! And now you’re left eating the same dish over and over again. At least with a shoddy gut the next day you’ve got a new story to tell!
Truth is, the not knowing is what stops a person from trying something new and it SUCKS doesn’t it.
The only failure in life is quitting, everything else is learning and figuring out what you don’t and do want. You’re simply gathering information.
You know the old time saying ‘you can accomplish anything you put your mind too’ — it’s a quote for a reason. Simple, effective and true.
You can do anything you want, even with a penny left in life.
Yes the road ahead regardless is a struggle but you really can do anything at all when your mindset is set to that specifically.
Even with a penny to your name. There are millions of examples of success stories out there on this!
Even if you work every hour under the sun and feel like there isn’t time or you have responsibilities.
If you stay in this realm of settling, it’s comfortable and it’s what you know.
You’ll make time for anything you really want.
It’s easy even if you think it’s hard but it’s just because it’s what you know.
You know when you’re faced with a difficult situation and you have no choices for instance, and then it bloody works out and you’re like WOAH, THAT WAS CLOSE! It’s because you had no other choice but to make it work. It’s specific. I find a lot of the time it’s almost the unknown alone to stop someone making a decision.
You’re uncomfortable because you don’t know what will happen and you don’t like it but have you ever thought about the actual worst case scenario?
You’re uncomfortable knowing you might have wasted time perhaps?
You know when you speak to an older person and they tell you about their regrets.. It’s always their regrets of not trying at something that they have to live with.
Ignore your gut feeling sometimes too. I know, I know, arrest me but honestly, get yourself in to a bit of a pickle sometimes! I mean, if you are spiralling out of control #beenthere obviously make wiser, don’t throw yourself in to the dirt entirely but don’t always stick to your guns like you need everything in order to thrive. You learn most from uncertain and unsettling moments which result in accomplishments and then confidence boosts and thennnn.. yep you’ve got it, more decisions you’re happier to take!
Take those damn risks, seek those risks, seek challenges, WANT them!
*Takes a breathe*

I’ll admit, one of my weaknesses has been deciding who I am and not trying because I’ve decided who I am.
‘I am someone who gets too scared..”
Scrap it. Don’t settle because you think you are someone who doesn’t succeed. I told myself I was someone who just didn’t have much money, maybe just like my mum and that would be how I am.
Well of course that’s me if I decide it to be. That would be my choice.
Actually no, I AM someone who has money and who can get more money just like anyone else can.
I am a person who can make my own decisions and that’s it.
For some it may take longer than others but you truly can!
There are fantastic materials out there and proof that any one person let alone millions out there who live the life of their dreams without fear of the unknown and facing uncomfortable decisions.
You have a tool box full of ways to make money, have successful business, the house of their dreams!
If you’re looking for excuses right now, don’t.
It’s what we as humans do automatically.

Let me tell you the story about Rick and Mike the identical twins.

Mike sat there, the rain poured, his thick suede coat was leaking due to the rip in the shoulder and his skin became wrinkled by the rain and numb by the cold.
I kneeled down to him with a hot chocolate and sandwich.
‘Hey there.. What’s your name?” I gently smiled.
Mike looked up from the floor, rubbing his eyes from the tears and the fact he had been looking deep in to the pavement in front of him for at least 30 minutes, barely blinking.
“Mike..” he reached out and clutched on to the hot chocolate like it was pure gold.
“What happened Mike, are you okay?”
“I’ve just had a really hard time.. My dad was an alcoholic.. we didn’t have any money growing up, I’ve been homeless most of my life” His story continues..

Rick walked in to the conference room, his assistant Sophie sat up with a huge smile on her face..
“Did you get it?!” She jumped out of her seat.
“Sure did!” Rick beamed and they hugged!
“We need to think of your speech! Wow! CEO! Oh my goodness! I’m so excited.. We can talk about how hard of a life you’ve had, how you turned it around and paved the way after your dad.. poverty.. right, I’ll write some notes now!” and Sophie was gone out of the room in seconds, leaving Rick beaming and looking around in shock.. He did it! He really did!

Truth is life is difficult. We face horrific choices every single day. It will always be harder for some and easier for others, but generally we are dreaming away at how life could be and settle for less and what we feel is available for us.
Need a nudge? Surround yourself with people who reflect you well. You ARE who you surround yourself by after all. That is definitely something to reconsider by the way, something that has already dramatically changed for me.
So what now, I have to feel uncomfortable for the rest of my life? I mean not in every waking moment, of course not but yes for the most part, when you’re moving, you have to grow and learn to get to the next pit stop.

For now it’s your mind. Change it. Your mind is the biggest struggle you’ll face. Whether that’s controlling it or even managing it. Your subconscious needs a kick up the arse because it has laid out foundations based on what you believe is to be true and what society believes is to be true — since you were a kid it’s sponged these beliefs and they need to be scrapped.
We are here to live life to the fullest because life is a gift!
It’s a miracle and who said that being comfortable is the better option? Probably one of the toffs higher up who tell the little people to simply settle down.
From now, make it your mission to embrace that discomfort and grow with that.. With each difficult decision, the worst that can happen is you learn what you do and don’t like from it and that can only be a good thing!
And plus, the more yes’s you make, the easier challenges will feel as they’re thrown at you because you’ll become stronger for it as you haven’t been wrapped up in cotton world!

Let me know how you get on! @emilinalove

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1E3FKS49Xe4 — also love this!)

Disclaimer: ( I’m not taken in to account mental health struggles specifically and showing lack of sympathy for say, a homeless person — I’m merely stating a comparison in which we learn from something and two different pathways. I am writing this article to a person who is in a self-discovery journey)

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Emily Dowman-Latham
Emily Dowman-Latham

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